Don’t worry I’m not going to get all Pink Floyd on you here. I am going to mention that I am starting to seriously feel over scheduled lately, and that making sure that I publish every day is getting harder and harder.
I keep hearing these voices (some of which belong to people that actually exist) telling me that maybe I have been setting unrealistic goals for myself.
Fair enough maybe it is a bit unrealistic. Maybe I shouldn’t fret so much about publishing a post everyday this month; especially now that I am so close to the end. While I am at it let’s not worry about writing everyday at all; how about I just chuck my mileage goals for riding my bike this month, that sounds workable right; since we’re not doing that anymore why not take up smoking again, I won’t be needing that extra lung capacity anymore; and while we’re at it, how about I just start drinking again.
And there you go. That’s what this is about isn’t it; at least that’s what my brain is going to make it about, again. Trying to tell someone fighting for their sobriety that they are setting “unrealistic” goals isn’t really going to sit well with them, even if that goal isn’t directly related or tied into their sobriety.
That being said, I will most definitely be glad to see the back of November and will more than likely not be setting any publishing schedules like this for any time soon. It is good to have ambitions though. Not to worry, I’m sure I move right along and find another unrealistic goal.
Drizzly, dreary weather and the impending holiday have gotten me a bit down over the past couple of days. This is despite being able to get out on the bikes with my wife and ride twelve miles with here during the nicer part of the day to take a short hike, which was quite nice. I also think I have been pushing myself a bit hard about trying to publish something everyday. The overall result has been a grumpy, stressed out, and depressed me who felt like writing was being a grind and that everything I typed sounded like a complaint and taking inspiration from The Daily Prompt and other sources just wasn’t fitting. So I shut off the computer and took a bit of a nap and decided to think about what it is I am looking forward to.
I am looking forward to the weather clearing up a bit and my wife and I taking an opportunity to do a day trip with the bikes rather than just trying to fit a quick ride in between errands and shit weather; we are also discussing doing a two-day cycling/ camping trip in the fall of next year if everything continues to go well, that would be really sweet. I am planning of making the most of preparing a large meal with my wife next Thursday for the rest of the family to enjoy; I usually get really bummed out during the holiday season, as I spent so many of them looking back and regretting things and missing my deceased parents and estranged sister and other members from my side of the family. Instead, I am resolving this year to take the whole Thanksgiving thing to heart this year and looking at my life in terms of what I have gained instead of what I have lost. I am really looking forward, in a completely selfish and sleep deprived way, to the school breaks that my daughter is going to be getting for the holidays. It will be good for me to have a stretch of days where after coming home from work after midnight and not getting to sleep until a few hours later that my alarm will not be whining at me starting at six am to take her to school; something that I am happy to do but the lack of quality sleep is a good portion of why I have been so cranky lately.
I am looking forward to another year on my bicycle, maintaining my sobriety and mental health. I look toward the rest of this year and all of the next writing this blog; though I do plan to start paring down the volume of my posts and focus on just doing two or three articles of quality a week, more if inspiration truly strikes me. Though I have enjoyed unofficially being part of the NaBloPoMo challenge, I don’t think it is good to drive myself crazy forcing publication so soon after starting to blog; so I will be relaxing about it for the remaining nine days and just being happy with myself for writing, continue to explore my voice, and not being so damned emphatic about how often I publish. Quite frankly I think it is pissing my wife off, which is no good for me or anyone else. I am looking forward to finding an excuse to play around with the new “Markdown” feature. It seems like it will be a great tool for me and looks like it will allow me to have fun with my writing style1. We’ll see how it goes. I am very much looking forward to reading more of what the WordPress community has to offer, and to you all visiting, reading, enjoying, and sharing your thoughts on what I have to offer.
And now, I am really looking forward to drinking my soda, because it is the first one I’ve had in weeks. Cheers, and happy writing.